Have you read a job-description & doubted yourself? Even though you know you’re a perfect fit, you weren’t so confident about your capabilities? This is a typical example of lacking self-confidence.
Many clients that approach me to improve their self-confidence have the following concerns:
“I can’t muster the courage to speak in meetings.”
“I have stage fear.”
“I don’t have the confidence to attend the interview”
“I don’t have the confidence to take up a new job.”
“I have no confidence to give a presentation with my senior management.”
“I don’t have the confidence to deal with aggressive people.”
Confidence needs to be built. Building self-confidence is a process of bringing out the best versions of ourselves to the world without doubting our abilities.
Confidence is a feeling that you are capable of handling a situation successfully.
The 3 key areas to focus on here are:
→ feeling or mindset → capability or competency → handling or taking action
So one has to develop the mind-set of competency and start taking the right actions towards building confidence
This can be hard for a few while also easy for a few others. If you’re one of those people who struggle with being self-confident you know this is one of your biggest barriers to success.
Coach Johncey has made this easy for you by developing a simple framework and FREE Video Course to develop your self-confidence. He uses this in his coaching sessions which usually unravels this guide and helps his coachees move forward.
Of course, nothing can replace the humane approach a coaching provides. But these tips will surely give you an idea of how to go about building your self-confidence.
Below is an explanation of the approach to this guide. It is advised to read this blog first and then start using the guide.
The link to the Video Course is provided at the end of this article.
Realization to build self-confidence
Often people come to me stating “I lack confidence”. But when asked which areas do they lack confidence in, they have no answers.
The first step towards improving yourself is to analyse what specific areas you lack confidence in.
The first question in the guide is: Write one specific area in which you need to improve your confidence. Before you answer this, I suggest, you take some time to think & analyse it. This way the realization will really hit you.
If you are stuck and not getting it right, ask yourself this: In what specific situation in the future would you like to have the maximum confidence?
For example, when it comes to public speaking, what aspect do you fear? Is it the fear of the topic or is it the fear of people sitting in front of you? Dig deeper.
The more specific you get at this question, the better relevance you’ll have with the rest of the document.
What are you doing well?
We often tend to focus only on the areas that we’re not doing so well at, that we overlook the positives in the same. This leads to overthinking which eventually turns into an insecurity.
I encourage my coachees to reflect on what is working well for them in the areas they choose. This way, they see the brighter side & acknowledge the things they are good at. This positivity creates a mindset that their new goal is achievable as there are still a few things going right!
What exactly should be worked on?
Now that you’ve had a sneak peak at the areas you’re good at, it will push you to do even better in the areas you lack confidence in.
This exercise helps you narrow down the areas you need to work on. Which ensures that, instead of shooting in the dark, you have a sharper & targeted focus that’ll help you build confidence.
You will also figure out how this new found confidence will benefit you in your personal development.
Visualize stakeholder reactions and emotions
Visualization is a powerful technique recommended to achieve goals.
Make a list of people who you think will have positive reactions once you achieve your goal to build self-confidence. Visualize their reactions & note them down in this manual provided to you.
Articulate what this improvement means to you
Developing self-confidence helps amplify your core values too.
First, write down all the Core Values that, you believe, you have. Then write how building your self-confidence will help you in amplifying these core values.
Think deeply & write these down because not all your core values are amplified in the process.
Your next step is to do the same with your Life’s purpose. Think & write what your life’s purpose is. Next to this, write how this purpose relates to building your self confidence which in turn leads to a greater fulfillment.
Everything relates to the bigger picture, i.e, your life’s purpose. Know that if something doesn’t add value to your life’s ultimate goal, it doesn’t matter.
For example, assume one of your core values is to be helpful. If you’re building self-confidence to speak in public then this core value of being helpful can be amplified. You can be of help to a number of people by addressing the public.
Notice how, in this example, building self confidence in a specific area in turn results in amplified core value. This is what will happen if you follow a similar approach to building your self-confidence.
Leverage your strengths
We need to learn to use our strengths in the process of achieving our goals.
Everyone has some set of strengths. Even if you think they are very few in number they still exist, right? So the smartest way to develop your self-confidence is to leverage these strengths. Look within yourself, first. See in what ways you can help yourself & use them to your advantage.
So in the given DIY guide to build self confidence, identify these strengths and write down how they can help you to achieve your goals
Overcome obstacles to building self-confidence
You are bound to come across various hurdles while taking actions to develop self-confidence. This is inevitable. But you can always be prepared to face them.
When soldiers are at war, they strategically prepare their moves & anticipate the obstacles they would likely be faced with. This helps them win. Building your self-confidence is also a fight against your fears. So you need to be prepared to face obstacles as well.
After you identify the actions you’re going to take to build your self-confidence, you will also be able to anticipate the possible obstacles you’ll come across while taking these actions. Now that you’ve recognized these obstacles, come up with strategies to overcome them. Always choose preparedness over being anxious.
Set realistic targets
The only way you are going to achieve your goal is when you set realistic targets. Against every action or step, you have decided to take to build self-confidence, set your start & finish dates. Keeping yourself time-bound will motivate you. This way you can make sure you actually improve & track your progress.
All the actions & counter actions to overcome obstacles will need to have a start & finishing point. This will help with your progress & also build discipline in you (another core value you unknowingly amplify).
You have to apply the SMART technique to achieve any goal. The same goes for building self-confidence.
What does SMART stand for?
This guide makes sure to follow this exact technique.
In addition to the SMART technique, we also apply certain visualization techniques with elements of your Being (values), Purpose and Strengths in to play, to help you gain the confidence you were looking for.
FREE DIY GUIDE and FREE Masterclass
Good Luck on getting started!
A lot of people in their workspace experience self-doubt. This is a result of low or no self-confidence. This has further led to many refraining from putting forward their best ideas at work. If you think this is hindering your growth what you need is a guide to build your confidence. Coach Johncey has made a Video Course to improving your self-confidence & in this article, he shares this, for free, with you. You will learn to use the SMART technique and visualization technique to go about building your self-confidence the right way.
Johncey George (Coach Johncey) is an ICF certified leadership & life coach. He has the corporate leadership experience of 23 years, with an educational foundation from IIM Bangalore, ISB & Harvard. He has been featured in the CEO Insights magazine as one of THE TOP 10 BEST LIFE COACHES. He has helped a range of Executives, Senior Leaders & Entrepreneurs in accomplishing their business and career goals. He has also played a significant role in the lives of many introverts by helping them transform their personalities into their greatest strengths and in turn to success. He is India’s leading Leadership Coach for Introverts.